The time we live in… I have to do something. Stop consuming news. Change my job. Take a long break. Build a time machine and go back to whenever. Live on a lonely island. I don’t know. But it’s just all too much.
@hutaffe Same here. Way too much.
I often think about tearing everything down here and just starting again somewhere else. Some very small house somewhere where the world is still okay.
@hutaffe yeah, pretty much everyone I know is discussing this. We’re also all in our late thirties, which is a time that a lot of folks have historically had these thoughts.
@jsonbecker @hutaffe @ner3y I still don't go out much anymore. Except now it's not about the pandemic, rather I agree with all of you—the world is just too much. I don't have an easy answer, because there isn't one. I too struggle with wanting to escape somewhere that feels more positive and re-energizing, but do those places even exist now?
@pimoore @jsonbecker @hutaffe @ner3y I hear you (oh, do I hear you!). There's a lot of ugliness in social media and in the news. Almost overwhelming. But… (and this is a big, nagging “but” for me) … I feel like we're at a couple of important turning points that I have to contribute the tiny amount I can toward nudging them the right direction. And so, I try to stay informed without drowning and contribute where I can.
That’s for me, obviously, not everyone. As my Latin teacher used to say, “a nickel’s worth of free advice.” (closest thing I could think of to a relevant quote 😉)
Be well.
@hutaffe @ner3y @jsonbecker @pimoore @the yep I agree with you all it is all too much. I've had to retreat from the harshness of it all and remain within it at the same time. What that looks like for me is that I moved to a simple life in a tiny house in the bush. I removed myself from the dramas of other people's lives. I then had space to immerse myself in doing what I can for humanity, the environment and world affairs. I've also spent a lot of time in understanding what has brought us all to this point - in a nut shell it all leads back to capitalism (in my opinion). Unless we fully understand the problem we will never get to a solution. The most important thing I've learned is that it's not my failing. Neo-liberalism wants us to all think that it's our own individual fault that has led each of us to this point. Which feeds the internal narrative of 'I should be better/more resilient/what' wrong with me etc'.
But as the quote goes 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism'. I like to challenge that where I can and look for parallel structures that aren't based on a capitalist model (FOSS for example). I try to act in rebellion to neo-liberalism both in my own thinking and in my actions. It's surprising how much it is embedded in me.
That's just how I have tried to navigate it anyway. Everyone will have their own way of navigating it.
@kimberley_rose Agreed. I'm just guessing from the tiny window of micro.blog into others' lives in this thread but I want to gently offer a bit of perspective. I think many or most on micro.blog are in the top 10% of the planet in terms of income. Which is to say, western, "developed" nations. Yes, we're in and have all helped to contribute to various crises. Whatever our roles, in comparison to many others, if not most others on the planet, we are people of priviledge and wealth.
All that said, the developed "civilized" nations of the planet have given up community and extended family lives for the nuclear family and professional careers. I suspect that this relatively new western experiment of modern civilization/capitalism that we take as a normal, a given, is perhaps not what we actually need. I'd propose that the past 200 - 400 years have brought us to an anomaly.
We're not feeling well or doing well in the same way that a plant evolved for a shady, moist environment would not do well if planted in a dry sandy soil in full sun.
But I would also propose that, thanks to our wealth, we are better positioned than the poorest 60% of the planet that are having a much, much harder go of life than we are. And all signs point to things only getting worse for them with the climate crises intensifying. And yes, we're going to face some great difficulties. But I grew up listening to my grandparents' stories of their lives living through the Great Depression.
We all have different circumstances, stresses, strengths. We all have something to offer to our community. Not this community of micro.blog but our lived-in physical community. And if we're in a space where that does not exist then it's likely possible we can help create it and nurture it.
@Denny super interesting. Really. I just want to add one thing. Sure, we don’t have problems like people in Ukraine or dying kids in Africa because of hunger. But I’ve learned that all problems have to be treated equal. For the persons themselves a problem is a problem, sometimes a small one, sometimes a super big one, even if others would say that it’s nothing compared to… well something like Second World War,… Not everyone is super resilient. That makes life sometimes super hard for the person itself.
@ner3y You raise good points about context. We get used to a certain kind of life and each life has different problems. One of the interesting aspects of what I see here and on other social networks like Mastodon is that many (I assume "westerners") are very stressed out. In the US we have the looming election and the fear of what would come with a Trump presidency. For many women and transgender people in the US it's the loss of bodily autonomy. For black people it's the constant threat of police brutality and persistent white supremacy. Bad news seems to be everywhere.
All that said, it seems to me that those in the middle class or above, especially in the US, especially white men, live fairly sheltered, safe lives by comparison. While the denziens of micro.blog are discussing coffee, pens, Apple's app store or whether they'll keep or return their $4,000 face computer thousands of Palestinians have been blown apart. Millions of Palestinians have watched their world be bombed into rubble and are faced with forced relocation. 700+ million around the planet face chronic hunger and that number will grow due to the climate emergency, conflict and resource depletion. 2 billion lack access to clean, safe drinking water and that problem too is getting worse. The list goes on.
As a CIS, white male in the US, I'm buffered by priviledge. I make it a point to keep that understanding of context in my mind as I actively open myself to how the rest of the world lives. At any given moment I understand that, relatively speaking, my problems are easier, often trivial. At the very least I know that I have clean water and the hours of my day are not backgrounded by hunger. I'm constantly aware of my priviledge. Of course that's not helping others in the world.
The crises we find ourselves in won't go away unless figure out ways to work together. In the US it would seem our government at many levels is failed and failing. It's on us to fix it or work around it. I suspect thany anyone reading micro.blog has it in their ability to fix something in their community. If not alone they have a neighbor that could help. Or several. It might be small, but if we look around we can find small problems to fix, people or animals to help.
@Denny just as a small counter— I think just like social media has the ability to amplify “non-problems” as people compare themselves against impossible standards, I also think the internet has done the reverse— make it really easy to trivialize our pain. Just like some people struggle with the popularity contest elements, I think it’s easy to dismiss real challenges individuals face against the sort of trauma and pain porn of the whole world.
I think it’s deeply harmful to individual health to think your successes need to be compared to the best in the world. And I think it’s deeply harmful to individual health to think that your distresses have to be compared to the greatest pains in the world.
And while I agree with your prescription to go after small things in our community we can make better, I’m not sure I think it’s always good to say “but put my problems in context”. I think that matters, of course, but repeating it all the time or always thinking about it, or feeling like you have to say that each time up top if you want to be vulnerable and express a distress online really serves to create a context of trivializing.
@jsonbecker This is a really great point. I wholeheartedly agree that while in context some pain is less than others, we still have to consciously consider the zoomed out, big picture reality—humanity is suffering on a global scale. We are all in this together, collectively watching and experiencing society become more challenging and unforgiving, every single day. And even the privilege—accurate, no doubt—some of us have pales in comparison to the wealthy elites, all of whom are beyond out of touch with the stark reality they have created through their feeding, and profiting from, greed, corruption, and capitalism. The 99% of us are all completely under the thumb of a handful of people who don’t care the world is burning.
There will always be comparisons to be made, just like there will always be context to our individual pain. We shouldn’t let that stop ourselves from fixing our own lives for the better—it may be the spark that lights the fire in others to do the same. A single small snowball pushed down a mountainside can have a huge impact.
@pimoore @the @jsonbecker @kimberley_rose @denny @ner3y
Thanks everyone for the thoughtful discussion. Personally I probably don’t have much to add because I basically agree with everyone, on all sides.
Just one thing maybe. Mental health is not exclusively a matter of world politics, war, economy or anything else from the bigger picture. It involves many things outside the small window into our lives probably most of us - definitely myself - are sharing on the internet. I will not solve current and imminent wars. I will not solve the fact that basically all companies are earning shitloads of money while firing people because the „financial outlook“ of the next best year ever is not big enough for the richest of the rich yet. I will not solve any major structural problems our countries have. I could start with the small communities around me. But I also have a family and choose to try to help keeping our lives running without major disruption, because my kids should not care about any of the crap that‘s going on outside their blissfully limited worldview. And that is the second (probably more like the first) day job I have. Dealing with our collapsing world is the third on the list. And it’s exhausting. No, I don’t have to flee my home because of war or have to fear hunger. Not quite yet. Who knows what’s next. Might be just around the corner. But I still fear burning my mental candle from both sides, and I don’t have to compare this to the world’s or even anybody’s personal issues.
@hutaffe that became longer than expected. But… it’s why enjoy this space on the internet so much more than all the Twitters out there. I can learn and get other opinions, instead of hate and tinfoil-rage. I really appreciate that.
@hutaffe This is what makes Micro.blog worth my time and energy. We need places where people can see each other and be seen by each other as individuals navigating a crazy complicated world. I really appreciated these thoughts.
@Denny I'm with you on this + offer a slight rephrasing - it's more than loss of autonomy, it's loss of life itself. It is literally life or death for us (trans people specifically.) For the record, I hold autonomy up there in terms of things we value, but this situation is somehow worse than that
@hutaffe I really appreciate the lack of Oppression Olympics on this thread. Comparison is unhelpful, solidarity is key! 🫂
@pimoore I agree. I'm also enjoying hearing others comment on this topic. The way I see it is that our own personal context of suffering is the microcosm experience of the greater suffering of humanity and the planet on a macrocosm scale. It is all interconnected. No need to trivialize or diminish our own suffering because we are connected to the suffering on a greater scale. Neo-liberalism has us thinking and operating from an individual perspective. We have lost our sense of interconnectedness. We think that what is happening in Palestine (for example) somehow won't happen to us or isn't happening to us. But in some sense it is already happening to us, we are just experiencing the early stages of it. The richest 1% own almost half of the global wealth. The richest 10 men in the world doubled their wealth during covid. Disaster and catastrophes are a money making proposition (disaster capitalism). Wars are money making enterprises. I fear the attitude of 'I can't do anything about whats happening in the world'. I love the philosophy of Ubuntu (not the Linux type!). It is a traditional value system throughout the continent of Africa,
...the belief in a universal bond of sharing that connects all humanity...Ubuntu encompasses the interdependence of humans on another and the acknowledgment of one's responsibility to their fellow humans and the world around them. It is a philosophy that supports collectivism over individualism.
It is often phrased "I am because we are". It takes me out of my individual thinking western mind and reminds me that I am part of a collective. What is happening to others is happening to me and I have a responsibility to others because we are one.
@denny @ner3y @the @jsonbecker @hutaffe @jean @mersontheperson
@jean Remember though, negative (and positive) comments on social media are mostly about the commenter, not the the commentee, or even the subject. It's the rare thoughtful comment that adds to a conversation that gets lost in a sea of self-satisfactorily and emotional yeas and neas on most social media sites' comment sections. @hutaffe
@hollie Shared this post about cozy fiction yesterday that would seem a comfort to many in this thread. She links to speculative fiction author Becky Chambers. I'm finding much to love about that corner of the book and illustrations world.
@renevanbelzen @kimberley_rose @mersontheperson @jean @hutaffe @pimoore @jsonbecker @Denny @ner3y @the
@kimberley_rose That Ubuntu quote and your response are very much the core of what I feel that I have to actively practice.
It's not so much about trivializing or diminishing my life experiences or problems so much as it is making a meaningful effort to remain open to the larger experience of humanity. To keep my eyes and mind open fully, to empathize even if, especially if, it makes me uncomfortable or is emotionally painful. If I don't make that effort then my own context is too small, my understanding incomplete.
@renevanbelzen @mersontheperson @jean @hutaffe @pimoore @jsonbecker @ner3y @the
@jabel SF very much doesn't have to be dystopian! I've been a fan all my life and I don't really care for dystopian stuff either.
I've read Becky Chambers's first book, and it's great.
@Denny The discussion here is very valuable. I really like the points of view here and they make you think.
This is just more of a note to myself.
Looking at the whole class system, I find the following idea in particular very interesting:
I think many or most on micro.blog are in the top 10% of the planet in terms of income.
Then there are the differences across national borders. You have to look at the generations themselves and so much more. None of this is easy, on the contrary.
My small "objection" to all this, that you have to look at problems "in context", as you then called it, I think it's good how the discussion has developed here. In my mind there were still my children, for whom the biggest problem at the moment is that the little one has taken a toy from the big one without asking first, or that the big one would have needed it at that very moment. Of course. And yet: it's the end of the world for her. And somehow that's a good thing. Better than having to worry about the big picture.
That brings us to the microcosm and macrocosm. Bloody interesting and not everyone is suited to doing something about the macrocosm, to moving it in a better direction, especially as nobody knows exactly what the right direction is, as this can have a negative effect elsewhere.
I recently considered the following. I deliberately became a manager to be able to make a difference, to do things better. I'm still stuck in my little managerial world. If I wanted to make more of a difference, I might be able to, but I don't want to at the moment. My contribution currently remains in this limited cosmos. On the other hand, as we all know, the flap of a butterfly's wings can change world history. So why not me, by making a team member successful? Who knows where that will lead.
Trump, Putin and so on. I don't keep track of all this, if only because I simply don't want to and couldn't bear the whole truth. Nevertheless, I understand enough. Enough to know that Trump in this potential position would once again be very damaging. Yes, absolutely for anything outside the "binary cis norm". I've read a lot about it. I haven't understood since then anyway why everyone isn't allowed to live how it makes them happy. Because only a happy person contributes to a healthy whole.
I swim on the surface with all this and don't want to dive too deep. I enjoy reading here and believe that we are all on the same healthy track as far as possible.
@renevanbelzen @kimberley_rose @mersontheperson @jean @hutaffe @pimoore @jsonbecker @Denny @the @jabel @devilgate
@jsonbecker Mid-fourties here, can report it's no different. These are interesting times for sure and sometimes I could very well do with a bit more boredom...