“I don’t think about you at all.” — Don Draper
If only it were that easy. Over the last year I’ve been reflecting on why negative, overly-personal complaints have affected me so much. I think it’s two things:
@manton In my experience, a lot of folks who balance a public and private persona can struggle with this dynamic over time. It helps to work on developing some boundaries around critique to help take the sting out, and help you decide what critique is worth the energy and what isn’t. I’m also very sorry you’re dealing with this.
@manton Back when I used to be a minor celebrity, I got the occasional death threat. It was helpful to focus more time on hanging around with people who thought defending me from such nonsense was a worthwhile activity. If you’re doing the right thing, there will be enough folks with your back that the dopes don’t matter so much.
Even so, it’s hard to avoid picking at the scab. Best of luck.
@manton Fortunately it was a long time ago. And the guy issuing most of them wasn’t all that competent at life in general. Don’t know that the experience made me stronger, but it didn’t do much to make me change my mind on deeply held convictions.
@manton If I’m obsessed about something negative, I do brainstorming and/or mind-mapping until it’s out of my system. There’s only so much spouse or colleagues or friends can take.
@manton sorry you’re having to deal with this. Genuine, well-intentioned feedback is always worthwhile, but I’m quietly confident that most of what you’re experiencing falls more into the toxic category than the constructive one.
@adamprocter Thanks. Yep, I’m always happy to hear anything constructive. Micro.blog is way better because of feedback.
@manton I am sorry to see this coming up again. For what it’s worth, I am deeply skeptical that the person launching personal attacks against you believes what he is saying.
@manton I spent about 6 or 7 years engaged in the warfare that was the theater blogging world back 2005-2012. I grew that thick skin. Recently, I re-entered that world again, and the first negative comment sent me into such a spiral that I had to stop. So I sympathize with where you’re at.
