Personal CRM How do you handle how often you talk to your friends? When you should call someone? Maybe send them a thank you card for that last dinner? I am curious how my MB friends do this in their personal lives.

@terrygrier To be clear - I do not mean CRM - in which software - how do you handle personal basic reminders to make sure you are following up with people you care about? I have heard friends - say - they just scroll through their imessages and see who they have not messaged in a while. Curious if you have a more intentional approach.

@terrygrier I am very very eager to read any replies on this because I feel like I am a really bad friend sometimes. A few years ago, I tried adding as many birthdays into my calendar and set a reminder to one week before so I can have time to buy birthday cards and mail them out (I also asked mailing addresses from many of my friends), but after the first few birthdays, I kinda forgot or lost interest, not sure which. I should go back to that!

@terrygrier I could do a lot better! Most of my small social circle are people I see in the flesh every week. Other than that, I try to keep track of friends' birthday or name day and send them a note: a physical one if I can, otherwise an email. A sad aspect of the digital takeover is that it's kind of hard to get people's mailing addresses: you have to ask, and sometimes it feels intrusive, or like somthing people don't want to make very public.
It doesn't have to be birthdays, obviously, but they have the advantage of coming around regularly and can be kept on the calendar.
We have a number of what I'd call "annual" friends: we send them our annual newsletter, which leads to a catch-up conversation about what's happened to them in the past year. Then they disappear again.

@JMaxB Solid info. I have some thoughts around this ... but I wanted to see what others are doing PS. I got the Urban Hermit from my public Lib - this week ... might read it over the weekend.

@mariovillalobos Always good to see you on my timelime. When I offer some thoughts around this there is always a push back on being calculated - or I would say intentional - with friends. It should just happen naturally - is the response I most often get. But I think without intention we live smaller than we should and can become isolated or at least insulated. more to come!

@terrygrier It's a fun read, ought to be a little better known.

@terrygrier For a while, I kept a "keep in touch" list of good friends and relatives that I wanted to be sure I touched base with at least once a month. I had it set up in OmniFocus, which worked for me when I was using OmniFocus, and now you've reminded me that it's something I need to re-add to my current system.

@jean @terrygrier @JMaxB @mariovillalobos I came across infrequent.app a couple of days ago. You add a friend/colleague/family member, and tell it how long between contacts. The app sends you an email.

Stay in touch with the people that matter the most. Either it's your mentors, peers, or friends. Keep track of those who matter, and get reminded when it's been too long.

@jean A lot of people use Mailchimp to schedule emails ;)

@terrygrier I set aside a little reflection time most weeks to think about various areas in my life, one of them being, staying connected socially. Usually when I ponder that, someone comes to mind and I write down a note to myself to get in touch with that person. And I literally keep a list of people I want to keep in touch with.

For me, it was more about just making the time to sit down to think about my life for about half an hour once a week in an unhurried way; and making a list for myself of things to think about (e.g. how's my spiritual life, my social and family life, my health, work life, creative projects, finances..).

This is apart from doing a productivity-style review. This is reflection time, with a candle, coffee, fountain pens, and if I'm lucky, a cat that tries to sit on my writing paper. But then when I tweak my weekly plan, I check my notes from that reflection time, and say, "Oh yeah, I need to text Rachel..."

@jean I like that a lot. I think I'll be trying to set up my own weekly MEOW. It will look pretty different, but that's the idea, isn't it?

@terrygrier I'm really good at not contacting close, personal friends for a very long time and then contacting them in a mild panic over that fact with lots of apologies. It's a system that never fails.😜

@terrygrier I'm totally with you about being intentional. There was a time I used my commute home to call specific friends on a daily basis and it did wonders for our relationship. Your question reminds me that I need to set something like that up again.

@JMaxB Exactly! That’s why I gave it such an un-serious name. It takes the stress out of it for me, and it makes it clear it’s not a product or a method I will be promoting. 😸