@macgenie It is really buried! I remembered it was hard to find, but I just checked and it's even harder than I remembered! In Mojave, it's under System Preferences > Accessibility > Mouse & Trackpad > Trackpad Options... > Enable dragging > three finger drag.
@fiona I wonder if many of the non-lovers come from non-Mac pasts? I am very much a trackpad lover, but I’ve found Windows trackpads to be terrible (even if they were Synaptics, which is the same manufacturer that Apple—used to, at least—used; if it really is the same hardware, Apple’s driver quality is light-years better).
I have had terrible luck with accidental triggering with tap-to-click over the years and it is always one of the first things I turn off (doubly so on Windows), though.