jayeless
jayeless
Making Myself Vulnerable jayeless.net
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circustiger
circustiger

@jayeless This resonates with me so much. It can be hard to just 'put it all out there', leaving yourself exposed and open for judgement.

Just writing about this fact in and of itself is showing vulnerability, and I really love knowing that others feel this way too. I hope you can get to a place where you feel comfortable about sharing those parts of yourself online - I know it will be a privilege to read about them. ❤️

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maique
maique

@jayeless Nothing to say, really, except I loved reading this, and I’m sending you my love 😘

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odd
odd

@jayeless It can be a bit hard to balance for sure. I have had cringes from earlier writing too, and sometimes being too open. I recently started writing a journal about the stuff that doesn’t need being online, but that gets it out of my head.

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odd
odd

@maique Up late you too? Party-party-party? 💃🪩🕺

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Miraz
Miraz

@jayeless It's tricky. What springs to mind is a totally private blog, aka journal that doesn't get anywhere near public…

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lmika
lmika

@jayeless Thank you for sharing this post. I can understand the tension you feel. ❤️

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maique
maique

@odd Not THAT late 🙂 We just came back from our friends place, and the little one fell asleep not too long ago. Just checking what’s new, will post today's photo, and go to sleep 🙂

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Annie
Annie

@jayeless Oh wow something in the air? I just published a rant (that I will surely cringe at later) and then read this. Sending love. Figuring out how to process trauma is hard.

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odd
odd

@maique I fell asleep in the early evening, but woke up at 11PM. Now I don’t know whether to try to sleep or just powering myself through the night. I feel the solitude now.

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maique
maique

@odd It’s still early, getting some more sleep is probably the wiser choice.

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jordon
jordon

@Annie @jayeless thanks to both of y’all for sharing. It’s been a tough week on my end too and y’all being able to put it into words has lightened my load. Having a bourbon for each of y’all tonight

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Annie
Annie

@jordon Sorry you've had a tough week too. I feel lighter putting it into words too. Cheers, and here's to a better week ahead.

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odd
odd

@maique True! Wishing I was more tired.

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bkryer
bkryer

@jayeless agree with all above. It is a ridiculous proposition in many ways, post this or that and that == me.forever() #updatethis! geez... I can say that putting stuff into words and then just tucking them away (as so many others mention, too) is good. I poopooed this at first blush, but it kinda works. Anyway, cool waves, chill buds...  🤙🏽

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annahavron
annahavron

@jayeless I struggle with this as well. Hope things get better for you soon

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jayeless
jayeless

@circustiger @maique @odd @Miraz @lmika @Annie @jordon @bkryer @annahavron Thank you so much for the kind replies ❤️ I walked away from my computer for an hour and came back to an outpouring of support, so thank you. For those of you who are also going through rough times, I'm sorry, and I hope things improve for you guys soon. A couple of you mentioned journalling, and I do do that, and I think it helps (or at least it can – if I mix the bad stuff in with the innocuous entries, though, rereading my journal gets dicey). But I think sometimes it's not good to keep everything bottled up. Especially if I'm apparently lacking in other stuff to talk about. A little controlled release is fine. So, thanks again for reading and understanding, guys ❤️

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pgkr
pgkr

@jayeless thank you for sharing! You talking about not being able to talk about things is making a lot of us feel less alone.

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jsonbecker
jsonbecker

@jayeless I really love having DayOne around for this. When I am feeling vulnerable or unsure, I pour it out in there. Sometimes, I read back what I wrote when I'm done and I feel great about publishing it to my blog. Sometimes I'm grateful that I have a different place for what I wrote. Every time I'm grateful that I chose to write about how I'm feeling.

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circustiger
circustiger

@jayeless Honestly - just reading posts like yours restores my faith in humanity. We are the lucky ones.

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jayeless
jayeless

@pgkr And thank you for your comment! I'm glad my post has some value for some people who aren't just me 😊

@jsonbecker It's a good strategy! I do similar, but with Obsidian as my journalling app. This very post started as a note in Obsidian, and even went I went to bed last night I didn't think I'd publish it. I'm kinda glad I did, now. But it can definitely be a relief to pour words out even if they don't subsequently go anywhere, too.

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hollie
hollie

@jayeless Coming in late, but boy did this resonate. I actively DO still have that same rule for myself - don't be too vulnerable. It has been my one guiding principle. I have deleted things on occasion when I'd walked away and the churning in my gut made me realized I'd violated that (lots of times my husband couldn't see what the big deal was, but he is endlessly chill and I am...less so, lol). I was bullied a lot as a kid (8 different schools in 9 years) and then again in my twenties - behavior I didn't understand (still don't, honestly), the only real clues being a couple times when someone said, "You're just so nice and so open," like that's....a target I carry? I still barf enthusiasm all over friends and loved ones, but I'm more careful with it online. I share what I find funny - humor is gold, I love sharing laughs - but I generally don't share what hurts me. I still have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, healthy boundaries have been useful for me to learn. On the other, I wonder about the closeness I could be building if I shared more - especially struggles with anxiety and chronic illness. Which is just to say, I think it's great that you wrote what you did, and reading it - especially about feeling exposed - connected with me very much. I hope this stuff eases up and you're able to feel some relief. ❤️

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canion
canion

@jayeless Your should see my Day One journal. Vulnerability all over the place. Hope you are okay.

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jayeless
jayeless

@hollie No such thing as late 🙂 I appreciate you sharing some of your experiences as well, and I can relate to what you say! I used to wear my heart on my sleeve a lot more, but I learnt, over time, that it's not a good idea. Enthusiasm over nerdy stuff, I don't mind sharing (in fact I probably do that more now) but I try not to get too personal. Boundaries are important. That feeling that I've overshared sucks. But on the other hand, I think it is true that it makes it harder to establish new (close) friendships. You can't do that without vulnerability, but then if you've learnt that vulnerability inevitably means pain, it's hard, haha. Even this post was kind of an experiment in saying the least I could without saying nothing at all. Ah well... thank you for reading, and sharing, and I'm glad you can relate ❤️

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In reply to
jayeless
jayeless

@canion Heh, my journal is also pretty full of vulnerability all over the place, if I'm honest. Thanks for your comment; I'm doing all right 🙂

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tinyroofnail
tinyroofnail

@jayeless For what it's worth, no matter what kinds of things you post (about), I like seeing your posts. I find them quite valuable

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jayeless
jayeless

@tinyroofnail Hey, thank you! That's nice to hear 😊

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