When "Christian Parenting" leaves families without the skills for actual relationships: chrishubbs.com
@cjhubbs Thanks for this. Honestly, so painful to see and hear it laid out — all very recognizable. Good to know my own assessment isn’t off the mark.
@ablerism Yeah, it’s far too familiar. Hearing the podcast articulate it so clearly finally helped me condense the thought. As a parent, as I left the church I grew up in, I’ve had to work to develop those tools in the hopes that I will maintain relationships w/ my children as they become adults.
@ablerism It also helps me start to understand my current-day challenges to have relationships with my family of origin.
@cjhubbs Marissa Burt has been immensely helpful to my wife and I as our kids are getting to an age (5 and almost 3) where this is everyday life. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote here about your childhood and the parenting resources that were standard in our circles.
@cjhubbs thank you for sharing. I’ve clashed with some in my church for not agreeing with some of the „biblical parenting” advice that has been given that has very little scriptural basis and certainly goes against a lot of our current understanding of child development.
One statement made me really ponder though as it mentioned the desire for certainty and simple processes to follow for compliance and that made me think of the reflections I had while taking a Christian ethics course recently that I want simple rules to know the right wrong thing but the truth is that life is complicate and simple rules always break at those points and often betray the greater values and virtues we are called too.
@ChrisJWilson Yes, yes, yes. Life, and people, are complicated, and parenting or shepherding or just loving them properly is just as complicated.
@cjhubbs We learned this the hard way when we started foster care. The only “tools” (spanking) we had were taken away from us. We then had to learn a whole new set of tools (connection, love-over-discipline, and others), and that was not done with support from the church.