@fiona I am on the wandering.shop instance (which is targeted for writers) and there seem to be many women there, plus it has been very welcoming. I think other instances are not necessarily like that though, so it might be about finding the right place.
@macgenie as a minority (I'm Greenlandic btw) I had no problem or anything, but I am one of those minority that looks line a white Caucasian guy, though I am not 🤔