🇺🇲 I have a great idea! What if, instead of paying for our people's healthcare, we didn't do that.
🌍: You can't do that. Your people need healthcare!
🇺🇲: Oh they'll still get healthcare. They just have to pay an insurance company a monthly premium first.
🌍: Oh whew. You worried me there. But at least the premium will be less money than a simple tax right?
🇺🇲: Oh definitely not. They'll have something even better. Freedom!
🌍: The freedom to...?
🇺🇲: Get healthcare or not!

🌍: Ok but at least after they pay their premium, they definitely get the healthcare, right?
🇺🇲: Of course! Right after they pay their deductible.
🌍: What in Gods name is a deductable
🇺🇲: It's the amount of money they pay, before the insurance pays.
🌍: So what's the premium for then?
🇺🇲: The premium allows them to pay their deductible. Try to keep up.

🌍: Ok but after the premium and the deductable, they definitely get healthcare, right?
🇺🇲: Of course! For a while.
🌍: What does that mean??
🇺🇲: Well the deductable resets every year, of course.
🌍: Why??
🇺🇲: To give them...uh....umm...because...

🌍: Ok but after they pay their deductible and their premium and before the deductable resets for some reason, then they definitely get healthcare, right?
🇺🇲: Of course! We're not animals.
🌍: Oh thank God.
🇺🇲: As long as they get it in network.
🌍: What the hell is a network.
🇺🇲: It's the group of doctors we decided we liked paying.
🌍: So... Your people don't even get to pick their own doctor?
🇺🇲: Duh. The insurance people like these ones better.

🌍: But I thought you said this was all about freedom??
🇺🇲: What are you some kind of dirty liberal?
🌍: I...what? Nevermind. At least then, after they pay their deductible and their premium and before their deductable resets, and as long as they pick a doctor in network, then they definitely get their healthcare right?
🇺🇲: Of course.
🌍: Jesus Christ, I can't believe—
🇺🇲: As long as it's not something wrong with their skin or their eyes.
🌍: I'm sorry what?
🇺🇲: Yeah we decided those are different for some reason.
🌍: Different from... Their body.
🇺🇲: Yeah. They just don't seem like they're PART OF IT you know?
🌍: No I don't know. That's completely insane.
🇺🇲: Or the teeth come to think of it.

🌍: *Pinches the bridge of their nose* Okay so... As long as they pay their deductible, and pay their premium, and before their deductable resets, and they pick the right doctor, and as long as they don't need any help with their skin (the largest organ on their body), their eyes (the organ with literally the most common natural defects), or their teeth (actual bones protruding from their body which require regular maintenance)...THEN they get their healthcare. Right??
🇺🇲: Of course!
🌍: And these...insurance companies pay for it then?
🇺🇲: Of course!
🌍: Fucking hell.
🇺🇲: Most of it.
🌍: ...
🇺🇲: Well I mean, obviously you don't expect them to pay the ENTIRE bill do you, don't be ludicrous.
🌍: They don't even pay the—
🇺🇲: I mean there's going to be copays obviously.
🌍: What in all that is holy is a copay.
🇺🇲: That's the part my people pay.
🌍: THE part the PEOPLE pay??
🇺🇲: It's only fair.

🌍: There's nothing fair about this.
🇺🇲: What do you mean. This is FREEDOM, baby. Murica!
🌍: Okay... look please just tell me that if they pay their their deductible, and pay their premium, and before their deductable resets, and they pick the right doctor, and as long as they don't need any help with their skin, eyes or teeth AND they pay their copay, then... THEN they get healthcare. Right??
🇺🇲: Of course!
🌍: What, no caveat?
🇺🇲: No!
🌍: No catch?
🇺🇲: I'm actually offended you would ask me that.
🌍: No more hidden asterisks??
🇺🇲: What do you mean more.
🌍: The insurance actually pays for their healthcare this time, for real?
🇺🇲: For real.
🌍: Good.
🇺🇲: I mean, if they feel like it.
🌍: ...
🇺🇲: ...
🌍: The fuck

🌍: *walking away*
🇺🇲: *chasing after them* WAIT I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO TELL YOU ABOUT PREEXISTING CONDITIONS

@LadyDragonfly

🌍: *walking away*
🇺🇲: *chasing after them* WAIT I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO TELL YOU ABOUT TIPPING FOR ~EVERYTHING~