@cygnoir @the @crossingthethreshold @Ddanielson Thank you all for checking in, I appreciate it. I've taken a step back and been laying low recently, for which there will be a blog post upcoming once I figure things out. Long story short, I'm evaluating what I want my time and presence online to look like, and what's required for my own mental health, focus, and best interests. I still plan on blogging and writing, and I do want to pursue other creative endeavours such as podcasting. My momentum has once again ground to a halt, and that needs to change.
Maybe a vacation from seeing awful things online daily?
This definitely plays a role, and is but one piece of a much larger puzzle. Full disclosure: my future on Micro.blog is part of this decision-making process. There are some technical issues that have prompted me to evaluate moving my blog hosting elsewhere, alongside wanting some more control over certain aspects of my publishing that haven't materialized on MB. I also find myself questioning how much (maybe little) I really want or need on my blog, even whether I want to make ethereal—to me at least—microposts any longer.
As the above quote and my response to it would imply, these blog-related issues are merely surface tension for me. On a deeper personal level, I'm unhappy, angry at (seemingly) endless things, terrified about the direction we're headed as a society, and in the midst of all this, feeling burnt out and lost in my own life. Allow me to preface by saying this next point has nothing to do with the community or people here; I'm not sure I can do timelines anymore. My only remaining one is Micro.blog, and I'm not convinced they're healthy for me. Perhaps they never were. Even if we weren't living in a time of such strife and absolute uncertainty, I'd still have lost much focus and calmness in my life, to timelines.
Their very nature is an endless stream of information, and dare I say, at times, performative. Even typically more pleasant communities like this one can still become too much, more so when current troublesome events factor into conversations more frequently. Ignoring these triggers entirely, however, I just haven't had the mental bandwidth of late. Several times I'd start scrolling my timeline, only to quickly feel overwhelmed and end up closing the tab. Once again, this is more my failing as opposed to Micro.blog's, but nevertheless is something I need to be honest with myself about.
Perhaps the writing truly is on the wall, and it's time for me to fall back to the asynchronous quiet of RSS and email. If that does end up being the decision I have to make, I won't regret the fellowship and comraderie I experienced here.
@pimoore Good to hear from you, Peter, and I share most concerns with you. I had a little timeout earlier, but came back. The difference that timeout made was that now I know I don’t “have to” chase the timeline if it doesn’t “spark joy”, to borrow an expression from Marie Kondo. Recently I have read more than I have in years, (actual books!), and while the FOMO is real, I trust that my wellbeing is more important. Micro.Blog is a special place, and I don’t want to give up on it just now. I hope you find your bearings, and stay with us, in the capacity that suits you best.
@pimoore I think timelines are inherently stressful; there’s always a sense of urgency. Smart to think about whether any belong in your daily life. And there are ways to connect that don’t require timelines. Protecting mental calm (or just making space for it) has to be a priority. Hope you’ll see the clearest path that’s best for you.
@pimoore It also recently occurred to me that you'd not been around. No doubt, these are interesting and hard times. Take care of your self. I hope you have a community around you, big or small, fellow humans or furry critters that you can share with, love and be loved by. ❤️
@pimoore It's lovely to hear from you. Thank you for taking the time to reply.
I hear you in your quest to find what an online life for you might look like. You remind me of the words of the late Vietnamese Zen Master, Thich Naht Hanh (Thay), where he draws the analogy of how we might be careful as to the food that we consume because of how it can effect our physical health. Similarly, Thay says, what we consume through our eyes and ears effects our mental health. He teaches that we have to be mindful of what is good for us, and to leave alone what is not doing us good.
You say,
this is more my failing as opposed to Micro.blog's
I don't see it as a failing. We are all different I believe, and as such have to know what is nourishing our well being and what is not. I personally see that as a strength.
Where ever you decide to lay your hat, may it be a community that nourishes you.
Be well, my friend.
