Parents! We’ve got 3yo, 5yo, and 7yo. I’m intrigued by “Mindset Decks” to help teach/cue things like grit, emotional intelligence, and good manners. Anyone out there used Mindset Decks? Thoughts? Any other cue/reminder tools you’ve found helpful in the day-to-day of parenting?
@joshuapsteele Interesting! Hadn’t seen those. Nice to have some quick reminders around, I can imagine. On manners, one really powerful thing for us, learned from my SIL, was to use “try that again” when correcting behavior. Looking in the eyes, polite requests, negotiating conflict and sassiness can be re-directed more drama-free with that phrase, we found. They get a chance to revise without just following a directive; you stay more in tune rather than adversarial; it’s more lightweight, nipping in the bud, than ramped up straight to consequences. Also, with neutral tone in the middle of a negotiation: “Take the whine out of your voice.” lol
@ablerism I like “try that again”! I do a lot of variations on, “Can you say that again, but in a [polite/kind/less whiny/etc] way?” But I like how “try that again” is simple and encompasses all kinds of behavior/speech/situations.
@ablerism Nice, I like the “try that again”! And AMEN to the whining. I’ve been going with “Please don’t talk so annoying, use your normal voice” lol. Probably some room for improvement there.
@joshuapsteele I bet you’re doing great. Go easy on yourself! We also have three close together, and it got so much easier as they got older.
@bethanyh Yes! And an open question could sometimes invite more contestation, I found. For our kids, the calm management of the situation — try that again, which is not optional but also, I know you can do it! — helped keep it very clear and quick.
@joshuapsteele This is bringing back so much younger kid parenting days to me…lol. I used to say, “Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t understand people when they talk in whiny voices. Can you say that in a normal voice so I can understand?”
@ablerism Indeed! Now I’m in the parenting era where when I try to keep a very calm even voice during moments of tension, I am occasionally accused by my teen of being patronizing. Always a new stage to try to figure out! :)