@vasta Wow! What’s bothered me a lot is the deaths that I have missed because no one bothered to tell me about them, even though everyone I know on Facebook is a friend/former classmate or collaborator from real life, and they all know I am almost never on Facebook. After finding out about a couple of missed deaths all at once a few years ago, I decided maybe I should engage more, but that didn’t work out well. I’ve decided I’m much happier with my friends being on Facebook where they ignore me and me here on Micro.blog where no one knows me but I am among “my people”: the historians, the poets, the lovers of names and language, the app-builders….
@smokey Yes: I love the idea of finding one’s “people”—and especially that our “people” changes based on context. (And this, changes our mechanisms and tools to find and engage with them.) If more people were more conscious (and more deliberate) of who they surround themselves with, rather than just going where everyone is, we’d have healthier, more supportive communities.
@vasta @smokey I view FB/social-media invites as a good gauge of who is a good friend worth keeping. When a friend invites me via SMS/mail/in-person to an event that was otherwise circulated on FB, the fact that they went out of the way to keep me in the loop means that they want me, Vega the particular person, to be involved in their lives, instead of lumping me in with the amorphous "they" of FB friends. This is something to be respected and reciprocated.
@vasta @smokey re. Social groups based on context - I think my first brush with this was when FB purchased Instagram. Prior to this, my Instagram “friends” was just a list of fellow bullet journalers and fountain pen addicts. My timeline was full of stationery porn. Then FB intruded and I had RL friends commenting on my posts, asking me why my timeline was full of pen and ink pics. It was most jarring when I was live streaming an ink review and I had RL friends log on asking me what I was doing. 😩
@vishae At some point they'll realise just how much of their lives can be significantly affected but that point how much damage might have been done to actual, real relationships?
It's sad to see just how shallow people can be, how they live to serve themselves more than anything; choosing to have more control over your web identity is an act of putting other people first by saying "Here. I am in a stable space, reliably available for the people who matter most to me. Right here."
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