Lucy isn’t eating her breakfast this morning. This is always worrying because she’s so food motivated. I’m trying to let her rest. She woke me around 4a and it was obvious she’d been up for a while judging from what I had to clean up.

I don’t want to say goodbye.

I don’t know how to say goodbye.

I want to curl up in a ball and hold her close and tell her it’ll be ok. That she’ll be ok.

But it’s not going to be ok. She’s not going to get better.

I don’t mean to put my grieving on full display. Or maybe I do.

I don’t know what I mean to do.

I am hurting and so is she. I hate it.

@UndamnedOne I had to say goodbye to my Annie Bear on April 15. She was only 10 or 11 (a stray I'd adopted or that had adopted me). I'd put off a surgery for a bladder stone that I couldn't really afford. Finally decided to do it only to find out that her kidneys were functioning at less than 50%. Rather than a surgery I had to say goodbye that morning because she was suffering.

Loving them means saying goodbye someday and that day is always heart break. ❤️💔

@Denny ❤️

@UndamnedOne I’m so sorry.

@UndamnedOne This is so hard. I'm so sorry.

@Denny thank you for sharing this. I keep saying “it’s not fair.” Like I’m six years old or something. But truly, it’s just not fair.

@vazquez 🙏