colinwalker
colinwalker
What's thrown me more than anything in the past eighteen months or so is the anxiety I've been experiencing. Depression, to a degree, is familiar - almost like the Simon and Garfunkel lyric "hello darkness my old friend" - even though it has been the worst I've experienced since my earl... colinwalker.blog
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canion
canion

@colinwalker I’m challenged by this as well. Having to attend the Perth Royal Show this year I particularly noticed it - an increasing heartbeat and the feeling of being compressed from all sides. I used to fight it; now I accept it and listen to what my mind/body needs and worry less about negative judgement if I decide to step away.

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Ron
Ron

@colinwalker I grew up with a lot of anxiety. I don't think it's related to depression. It might help for you to read what Dave Winer wrote about one of his mottos. I found it to be quite brilliant, the brilliance actually coming from Fritz Perls. In short, don't sit in the anxiety, get into action, break through the fear and actually do the thing that has you frozen!

The key line in one of Dylan's greatest songs, Angelina, is "Just step into the arena." Dylan should know, he's been doing that his whole career, stepping into the arena, the places others have been afraid to go. You never ever read about Dylan suffering from anxiety. He's just always going down the road, heading for another joint on his never-ending tour.

I wish you well, Colin.

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colinwalker
colinwalker

@Ron Thanks Ron, I appreciate it and also the references. It's definitely something I have to deal with/confront but there is the frustration of not knowing why it started.

It's a process and it will take time.

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fgtech
fgtech

@bix I am coming to realize through your writing and now exchanges with @colinwalker something that I think even many physicians don’t realize. We all experience anxiety. The techniques most people can use to cope with it don’t work for someone with an Anxiety diagnosis.

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fgtech
fgtech

@bix @colinwalker The same can be said for depression, stress, and burnout. If you have Depression or Stress or Burnout, it’s not necessarily something you can Just Breathe or Just Rest your way through. Not many people understand why medical help may be needed to recover.

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fgtech
fgtech

@vasta Thank you for chiming in your experience as well. All of this is giving me a much deeper understanding of people I know. Brains are complicated.

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dgold
dgold

@colinwalker hey Colin, popped back onto m.b. to send you a comment on this.

What you’re experiencing is absolutely on par with myself. I’ve had clinical depression for years, but since 2015 it’s been “upped” with General Anxiety Disorder as well. I wrote a little bit about My Panic Attack back in 2016. With correct medication, and lots of therapy, I’ve managed to not have one in about a year.

That doesn’t, unfortunately, stop what my therapist and I call despair attacks, something I’ve never had to deal with before, but leave me every bit as destroyed as a panic attack.

I hope you get all the help you need to get you through all of this, but you absolutely are not alone. Sadly, even those of us long in the tooth of mental health issues find new and “exciting” ways to make things harder.

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colinwalker
colinwalker

@vasta Thanks Sameer. Indeed, I do wonder if the severity of the depression this time round is very much a causal factor. I am planning a return to the doctor soon (mental health practitioner is a bit of an overstatement) and am going to explore a couple of other avenues.

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colinwalker
colinwalker

@dgold Thanks Dan, appreciate it. I'll read your post a bit later.

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strandlines
strandlines

@colinwalker I think @vasta is right - this could easily be comorbidity with depression. Everything I have read indicates that anxiety and depression are commonly bedfellows - either anxiety causing depression (this best describes my situation), or vice versa.

In fact, I was reading an article last night regarding research into how symptoms shared by both anxiety and depression could be ‘gateway’ symptoms from one condition to the other. Sadly can’t find the article now.

Clinical anxiety can be as crippling as depression, as I have found. I hope you find the help you need - NHS Talking therapies is worth a try. Your GP should refer you, but you can also self refer.

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Ron
Ron

@colinwalker Yes, you will need to sort through what is happening. You have certainly gotten a variety of advice to consider. I hope you will find a path that works well for you!

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In reply to
Ron
Ron

@bix What I wrote was freely given, in hope that it "might help" him. Of course he will have to evaluate that for himself and find out what works for him. It was certainly not my intention to offer anything that might be terrible advice.

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