{"version":"https://jsonfeed.org/version/1","title":"Micro.blog - BLURST","home_page_url":"https://micro.blog","feed_url":"https://micro.blog/posts/Z@jorts.horse","_microblog":{"about":"https://micro.blog/about/api","id":"220264","username":"Z@jorts.horse","bio":"Jocose paralogician.Posting harder, not smarder.If I post a screenshot, it is not real.\n\nMy pronouns are: do NOT use words to ever refer to me.\n\nRated NSFW 18+ for language, foodgore, suggestive themes.\n\n#nobot#nobridge","pronouns":"","is_following":false,"is_you":false,"following_count":0,"discover_count":0},"author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://micro.blog/photos/200/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png"},"items":[{"id":"91445266","content_html":"

brewing a pot of coffee at midnight and booting up satisfactory 1.2 as an act of rebellion

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116684684650521585","date_published":"2026-06-03T06:09:49+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"06:09","date_timestamp":1780466989,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91443753","content_html":"

@jbcrawford they stopped publishing reports, but they used to make one annually with numbers
https://sgp.fas.org/othergov/intel/clear-2019.pdf

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116684534719901473","date_published":"2026-06-03T05:31:42+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"05:31","date_timestamp":1780464702,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"91441454","content_html":"

announcing a book tour for my autobiography, \"the adventure of a wifetime: my life as a backdoor man\"

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116684310635473858","date_published":"2026-06-03T04:34:42+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"04:34","date_timestamp":1780461282,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91441377","content_html":"

go limp in the paint

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116684296440266874","date_published":"2026-06-03T04:31:06+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"04:31","date_timestamp":1780461066,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91370172","content_html":"

it's called CAPitalism because it's all lies

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116678423784464392","date_published":"2026-06-02T03:37:36+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-06-02 03:37","date_timestamp":1780371456,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91369504","content_html":"

been posting to this websight every time I piss for 4 years now \"yikes\"

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116678337953118574","date_published":"2026-06-02T03:15:46+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-06-02 03:15","date_timestamp":1780370146,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91359562","content_html":"

@me they can track your location if you don't rotate MAC

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116677329280400695","date_published":"2026-06-01T22:59:15+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-06-01 22:59","date_timestamp":1780354755,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"91304958","content_html":"

I don't know how but they frowned me

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116673274470210541","date_published":"2026-06-01T05:48:04+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-06-01 05:48","date_timestamp":1780292884,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91249417","content_html":"

\"β€œIts

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116667640454274712","date_published":"2026-05-31T05:55:16+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-31 05:55","date_timestamp":1780206916,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91249286","content_html":"

logging in like

\"just

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116667606841547706","date_published":"2026-05-31T05:46:43+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-31 05:46","date_timestamp":1780206403,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91249124","content_html":"

you wouldn't
circle a jerk

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116667587447380519","date_published":"2026-05-31T05:41:47+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-31 05:41","date_timestamp":1780206107,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91243936","content_html":"

s/henanigans

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116666842476801953","date_published":"2026-05-31T02:32:19+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-31 02:32","date_timestamp":1780194739,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91190801","content_html":"

logging in like

\"man

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116661521300197388","date_published":"2026-05-30T03:59:05+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-30 03:59","date_timestamp":1780113545,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91189918","content_html":"

@infernusgoatus don't feel bad, I literally just watched Chinatown finally

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116661377940506174","date_published":"2026-05-30T03:22:37+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-30 03:22","date_timestamp":1780111357,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"91186660","content_html":"

me: and what is the soup de jure?
waiter: legally, sir, it is soup
me: I'll fukken burn this place down I swear to gatayum

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116660942269591638","date_published":"2026-05-30T01:31:49+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-30 01:31","date_timestamp":1780104709,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91186268","content_html":"

due to a typo, I just had a creme de moth

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116660896919697403","date_published":"2026-05-30T01:20:17+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-30 01:20","date_timestamp":1780104017,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91185525","content_html":"

@chad https://www.theriansaga.com

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116660813147636760","date_published":"2026-05-30T00:58:59+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-30 00:58","date_timestamp":1780102739,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"91127150","content_html":"

@grass the emperor was wearing disdik

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116656419345819769","date_published":"2026-05-29T06:21:35+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-29 06:21","date_timestamp":1780035695,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"91100193","content_html":"

how old are those kids now? and they never got to hear the ending to The Pet Goat, shame. real missing piece of childhood, stolen from them.

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116654271666540664","date_published":"2026-05-28T21:15:24+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-28 21:15","date_timestamp":1780002924,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91097432","content_html":"

post-truth coveralls

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116653966898569803","date_published":"2026-05-28T19:57:54+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-28 19:57","date_timestamp":1779998274,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"91053693","content_html":"

logging in like

\"SNES

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116650142316326988","date_published":"2026-05-28T03:45:15+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-28 03:45","date_timestamp":1779939915,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"90992210","content_html":"

gas station dick pill encyclical

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116645285523686426","date_published":"2026-05-27T07:10:06+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-27 07:10","date_timestamp":1779865806,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"90992193","content_html":"

@me died doing what they loved,,, unexplained downtime

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116645282436763568","date_published":"2026-05-27T07:09:19+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-27 07:09","date_timestamp":1779865759,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"90990484","content_html":"

π…πˆπ‹π„ ππ‡πŽπ“πŽ

\"PISS

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116645007294925073","date_published":"2026-05-27T05:59:21+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-27 05:59","date_timestamp":1779861561,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"90990385","content_html":"

\"CNBC\nFederal

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116644989025038050","date_published":"2026-05-27T05:54:42+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-27 05:54","date_timestamp":1779861282,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"90989506","content_html":"

texas chansaw bubblebath spa retreat vacation package

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116644822852640824","date_published":"2026-05-27T05:12:27+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-27 05:12","date_timestamp":1779858747,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"90989071","content_html":"

thought I was going blind then remembered I put on the super dark mode on my iphone. my first thought was \"finally... SSDI\"

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116644770786346974","date_published":"2026-05-27T04:59:12+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-27 04:59","date_timestamp":1779857952,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"90988741","content_html":"

gender affirming coveralls

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116644718931305773","date_published":"2026-05-27T04:46:01+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-27 04:46","date_timestamp":1779857161,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"90988735","content_html":"

murry and reproduce

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116644717834132045","date_published":"2026-05-27T04:45:44+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-27 04:45","date_timestamp":1779857144,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"90891433","content_html":"

im not an artist but i do have a big opening next week

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116636627739465464","date_published":"2026-05-25T18:28:19+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-25 18:28","date_timestamp":1779733699,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"90846001","content_html":"

@batterpunts @wandrew we must imagine he is happy

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116631820437039237","date_published":"2026-05-24T22:05:46+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-24 22:05","date_timestamp":1779660346,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"90828579","content_html":"

@crimson_clouds23 I learned this first from WKUK and the shirt designation program

https://youtu.be/cLBospQs9Hk

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link in bio break

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116628008350672943","date_published":"2026-05-24T05:56:18+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-24 05:56","date_timestamp":1779602178,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"90779562","content_html":"

which one of you was this???

\"drawing

","summary":"","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z/116624854056003689","date_published":"2026-05-23T16:34:07+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-23 16:34","date_timestamp":1779554047,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":false,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":false,"note":"","syndication":[]}},{"id":"90713680","content_html":"

@sexybenfranklin it should boot up a surrealist Minitel

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116618899902889930","date_published":"2026-05-22T15:19:54+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-22 15:19","date_timestamp":1779463194,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"90581661","content_html":"

@alphaomega internally, it's called magnetoreception. I forgive humans for needing tools for such simple things.

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116608411889235113","date_published":"2026-05-20T18:52:39+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-20 18:52","date_timestamp":1779303159,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"90432308","content_html":"

@charette we stay in touch with relatives over the millennia

\"(webcomic)\nIndohyus,

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116596923686041564","date_published":"2026-05-18T18:11:03+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-18 18:11","date_timestamp":1779127863,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"90378587","content_html":"

@finn <erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116592395153550914","date_published":"2026-05-17T22:59:23+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-17 22:59","date_timestamp":1779058763,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"90203573","content_html":"

@chad omg

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116576699007962431","date_published":"2026-05-15T04:27:39+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-15 04:27","date_timestamp":1778819259,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"90202828","content_html":"

@chad I read a book once where companies were the Kabbalists were right all along and specific long combinations of words spoken aloud causes the universe to change in a way we'd describe as magical, all powered by a giant mystical engine tended by angels. So of course companies pay people to read aloud strings of syllables to see if they stumble across any worthwhile spells (most are lame) and they're all competing to find the true name of god before the competition.

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116576592709430705","date_published":"2026-05-15T04:00:37+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-15 04:00","date_timestamp":1778817637,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"90202261","content_html":"

@crimson_clouds23 right here foo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcXiwNjkhxU

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116576508379420237","date_published":"2026-05-15T03:39:11+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-15 03:39","date_timestamp":1778816351,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"90132916","content_html":"

this movie has got that special something

\"still

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116571132848429808","date_published":"2026-05-14T04:52:06+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-14 04:52","date_timestamp":1778734326,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"90131201","content_html":"

@touk alive internet theory

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116570935962312525","date_published":"2026-05-14T04:02:02+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-14 04:02","date_timestamp":1778731322,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"90063175","content_html":"

@anime_reference @Louisa someone told me to try miso in a grilled cheese and it was ok for a more manageable savory hit

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116565758045302695","date_published":"2026-05-13T06:05:13+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-13 06:05","date_timestamp":1778652313,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"89955093","content_html":"

@infernusgoatus drummer pulls off the patois best imo

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116559869161100317","date_published":"2026-05-12T05:07:36+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-12 05:07","date_timestamp":1778562456,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"89874127","content_html":"

@unlofl we have to keep fighting the good fight
Illegitimi non carborundum

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116548873603133967","date_published":"2026-05-10T06:31:17+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-10 06:31","date_timestamp":1778394677,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"89872407","content_html":"

@finn nobody marathoning fr tho

\"abysmal

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116548504088841965","date_published":"2026-05-10T04:57:19+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-10 04:57","date_timestamp":1778389039,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"89872342","content_html":"

@lainalien here I sit
broke gparted
called off work
and only farted

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116548496028386138","date_published":"2026-05-10T04:55:16+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-10 04:55","date_timestamp":1778388916,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"89834714","content_html":"

@rothko Charles Addams imitating Gorey's style

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116542687400177955","date_published":"2026-05-09T04:18:03+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-09 04:18","date_timestamp":1778300283,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}},{"id":"89749901","content_html":"

@crimson_clouds23

\"I

","url":"https://jorts.horse/users/Z/statuses/116531665697279217","date_published":"2026-05-07T05:35:05+00:00","author":{"name":"BLURST","url":"https://jorts.horse/@Z","avatar":"https://cdn.micro.blog/photos/96/https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.jorts.horse%2Fhorse-media%2Faccounts%2Favatars%2F000%2F219%2F052%2Foriginal%2F667a012b37f50441.png","_microblog":{"username":"Z@jorts.horse"}},"_microblog":{"date_relative":"2026-05-07 05:35","date_timestamp":1778132105,"is_favorite":false,"is_bookmark":false,"is_deletable":false,"is_conversation":true,"is_linkpost":false,"is_mention":true}}]}